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Posted on Wednesday, September 28 - 2005

" Everyone knows the cliche about life imitating art.  Well, here we go again.  Because of Hurricane Katrina, we have learned of a reported factual parallel to one of the most over-the-top ideas ever in one of the most over-the-top movie spoofs ever. In 'Austin Powers, Internatio..."

Geeding Dolphins

Everyone knows the cliche about life imitating art.  Well, here we go again.  Because of Hurricane Katrina, we have learned of a reported factual parallel to one of the most over-the-top ideas ever in one of the most over-the-top movie spoofs ever. In 'Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery,' One of Mike Myers' many characters, Dr. Evil, asks his people to provide him with "Sharks with fricking laser beams attached to their heads."On Monday, the British newspaper "The Observer" quoted an accident investigator who claimed that three dozen U.S. military dolphins, supposedly trained in secret training near LakePontchartrain, had been washed away by Hurricane Katrina.

These animals were supposedly capable of identify underwater spies and were carrying special harness which permitted them to fire toxic darts at anybody trying to sabotage a ship.Presumably, the actual firing would be done by remote control, rather than by the dolphins, who may be really smart, but who do not have hands with which to press the firing button for the "fricking darts," nor, for that matter, any "fricking laser beams attached to their heads."Well, it sounds ludicrous, except that the Navy has long admitted experimented to see if dolphins could be used militarily.  The idea of them as last lines of defense against underwater terrorists was broached very seriously in the months and years immediately after 9/11.On Monday evening,however, the Pentagon actually issued a statement saying all of its dolphins have been accounted for.  Moreover, the DOD says its dolphins aren't trained to attack, just to look for "objects" with their diver companions.  Plus, they have no dolphin units in Louisiana, only in San Diego. So, could there be 36 trained dolphins out there somewhere carrying toxic darts on their backs, ready to shoot surfers or divers or Lloyd Bridges or Patrick Duffy from "Manimal"? Moby Solangi, the president of Marine Life Oceanarium in Gulfport, Miss., which rescued several of its dolphins in the Gulf of Mexico after Hurricane Katrina, appeared on 'Countdown' Monday to discuss the possibility.To read an excerpt of their conversation, continue to the text below. To watch the video, click on the "Launch" button toth......


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